Moment of Truth.

In theory I know what a friend is. A true friend is somebody who is willing to overlook your flaws. Support you when you're in the mist of a crisis. Admittedly, I have never had a true friend, largely in part because I don't connect with humans on their level. For someone like me, I see everyone, including my sister, as a pawn on a chess board. Your only purpose to me is service my needs. And I have a wide spectrum of needs that need to be fulfilled. So you can understand why Brittany Lohan and friendship don't belong in the same sentence. 

I am determined to change that. I hate being alone. I hate admitting I hate being alone more then I hate being alone. I hate needing humans more then I hate admitting I hate being alone. The lonely nights spent watching wrestling footage inside my hotel room have become relentlessly boring. While the rest of my peers have boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, hanger ons, I spend the majority of my alone in a bar, looking for the next woman to have sex with. And while living the lifestyle of a lustful minx doesn't grow old, those numerous one night stands are not friends. They are not women who are equipped to cure my loneliness.

Thats why I targeted Natalie. Targeted sounds dirty doesn't it? Correction. Thats why I sought out Natalie. In my eyes she is a beautiful woman with whom I share a common interest. Wrestling. We're both important cogs in the Underground Division. I am a former champion. She will become champion in no time. She is that talented, that tough, that resilient. And she loves roughing her opponents as much as I do. I see a lot of myself in her, minus the psychopathy. And that is the ultimate problem.

She's normal. I am not. When she finds out what I really am, will she ceased to be my friend? I doubt our tag team will suffer because of my condition. We make a pretty good team. Anyone who saw the destruction we brought upon Alex Junior and Rachel Foxx have to agree. What I really need from Natalie is for her to be my friend. I have done the business only alliance before. Now I need more. I sound pathetic don't I? Brittany Lohan needs a friend? Makes my insides bunch up in knots just thinking about it. If I'm going to live a normal life this is what I need to do. Defy my nature.

I am still in Louisville, Kentucky, it's the morning after Breakdown. I slept in regular room inside the Marriott Hotel; I wake up in the comfort of my King size bed. I flutter my eyes, trying my best to wash away the tiredness. I turn to my left to find Serenity sleeping under the covers next to me. On the bright side I knew she was here when I fell asleep. This isn't like the other times she woke up next to me without my knowledge. We didn't have sex, I simply needed her company. And since she isn't my sister, who I would never sleep with, Serenity is the closest thing I have to a companion. There is something wrong with you when you consisder your stalker your companion.

I nudge Serenity in the side. Instantly, she wakes up; fluttering her eyes. Something tells me she has been awake longer than me.

Serenity: Hi.

Lohan: How long have you been awake?

Serenity: Long enough to notice... your adorable when you're sleeping.

A fake smile spreads across my face. I hate Serenity's ill attempt at cheap flattery. Who is she fooling anyways? But, a small part of me appreciates her flimsy attempt to butter me up. Her cheap praise, however; would work on one of the women I'm forced to tag with in the Trios tournament, Katie Steward. She's the personification of a textbook Narcissist, any admiration Katie receives she gobbles up like a shark swallowing its prey. Has she ever met a camera she didn't love? Can I throw up now?

Lohan: Well.. thank you. 

Serenity: Want some coffee?

Lohan: Folgers--

Serenity: … Black Silk. Black. Three sugars.  

She winks playfully at me as she rolls out of my bed. I forgot she knew what my favorite coffee was and how I like to drink it. Serenity knew all this before we officially met after the Breakdown in Boston several weeks back. I've been meaning to ask Blake to use his unlimited resources to find out who my stalker really is. Whats her real name? Did she know me when I was in prison? The little questions I should have been on top on. Every time I set my mind on running a background check on “Serenity” I lose focus. I am a professional wrestler. Most of my time is spent, you guessed it. Having one night stands and watching wrestling film. See how easy it is to forget asking one of your only male friends to run a background check on your personal stalker/companion?

As I watch a pink lingered Serenity fire up the coffee maker I hear the buzzing sound of my ringtone, “Speak Your Mind” by 12 Stones; go off. I reach down next to my bed, grab the blue denim jeans I was wearing last night, pull out my cellphone. I flip open the phone.

Lohan: Hello. 

I am greeted by the sensual voice of my tag team partner, Natalie. I press the speaker button on my cellphone so I don't have to press the receiver against my ear. That, and I figured Serenity wants to know what our conversation is about. Saves me the time of explaining everything to her later.

Natalie's Voice: Hey Brit, do you tink ve can talk. I vas tinking about our last conversation.

Lohan: Of course. Whats on your mind?

Natalie: I don't tink you vere acting yourself. You took vhat I had to say to you rather calmly and I am grateful you seem to understand. But your vhole demeanor vas off. You vere almost peppy even.

Lohan: I had every reason to act peppy. You and Dakota are back together and I could not be any happier. I can not begin to express how sorry I am for the trouble I caused you two. If there is anything I can do to make it up to Dakota, tell him, I am willing to do anything to prove to him he can trust me. 

Even I can't believe the load of crap that came out of my mouth. The fact I lied without much thought shocked even me. Me. Needing Dakota to trust me? Ha! Simply, ha! And I doubt Natalie will buy my horse shit. 

Natalie: You are lying to me Brittany. You despise Dakota, and you have told me on a number of occasions dat you did. But I vant you to be truthful vith me. I don't like being lied to.

Just as I thought, she didn't by it. She's right. I wish Dakota were dead, since that is not the appropriate thing to tell a friend, I kept my mouth shut. See? I'm learning to become more socially acceptable. I cleared my throat.

Lohan: You want the truth, Natalie? What do you want to know?

Natalie sighs on the other end of the phone.

Natalie: Yes, I vant to know da truth and vhy is it you tink you have to pretend vith me?

Lohan: Pretend? I have no...

... have no idea what you're talking about. I have been through this same conversation more times then I can count, they all the end the same. I don't know what you are talking about. Come on, you're not being yourself I can tell. Why the hell would I pretend to be somebody I am not? Quit the bullshit, Brittany. I am tired of the same conversation over and over and over again. Predictability is boring. Looks like I have no choice.

Lohan: I'm afraid. That's why. 

Natalie: I told you I vanted you to be yourself. I am not going to judge you...But I expect you to be up front vith me.

Before I could answer, Serenity sat on the bed with a cup of Folgers Black Silk coffee waiting for me. I grabbed the cup of coffee, took a quick sip. I handed the piping hot coffee back to her. Now what should I do? Is it time to show Natalie my true face? Delaying the inevitable isn't going to make the issue go away.

Lohan: I'm damaged, Natalie. More than you or anyone in my life can possibly comprehend. Since the day I was born I felt I needed to be something that I am not. I gave up on the idea of being normal long ago. I saw professional wrestling as the only career suited who I am. I am on the road all the time, having no time for friends, barely in contact with the rest of my family. I can live a solitary life without the complications. But now. I need something real, forgive me for being, me. Its hard to put into words who I am.  

Natalie: No need to apologize Brit...Just be yourself, I never vanted anyting from you other then you to be yourself. Like I said I von't judge you. Ve all have our issues and baggage.

Lohan: I have to take a shower. When I'm done I am going to text you. You want me to be myself? I will show you who I really am. Just make sure you meet me at the location I text you at.

Natalie: You can't scare me Brit, but I vill be der.

I hang up the phone. I turn to face Serenity. She shakes her head.  

Serenity: Don't be an idiot. Natalie will never accept you for who you really are!

Lohan: You don't know that. 

Serenity: Look at her. Super aggressive Wonder Woman inside the ring, a complete doll outside it. The way that finance and her talk to each other, can someone say clean up on aisle nine? When she finds out there is no difference between the monster in the ring and the monster who hides behind a human mask outside it. She'll want nothing to do with you away from the ring. 

Lohan: You're wrong about Natalie. 

Serenity: Prove it. Remove your mask. Show Natalie your true face. And when she runs away like the pathetic human she is, I will be there to pick up the pieces. 

Lohan: Game on. 

I shake Serenity's hand. She smirks back at me.[/i][/color]  

Serenity: This is one battle you can not win, Brittany. 

What if Serenity is right? What if by showing Natalie my true face she wants nothing to do with me? Then it's right back to traveling up and down the road by myself, hopping whores bed after the next. One of these days I want to end my night talking to a real close friend. And Natalie could become that best friend. Do I want to risk that? Should I continue acting like I'm something I'm not? I have no choice. Either I tell her or she finds out on her own. Those are my only options I have. I chose option one. Get ready my little Russian Princess, time you found out who I really am.

**

I'm determined to prove Serenity wrong. I will show Miss-Know-It-All Natalie is the rare exception to the rule. I am of the belief the wrestling fans who pay their hard earned money to watch me smash my victims skulls in, get a sick thrill out of watching me create a masterpiece inside the ring. And why wouldn't they? My ruthless aggression is second to none, my remorseless can not be matched by anybody in the business. In other words, I have no equal. The same fans who sit in front of their television screens waiting for me to break my opponents neck are the same fans who don't want anything to do with me outside it. 

My peers are slightly different. Like me, they tap into the darkness to help them accomplish their goals, but when it comes to their normal lives away from the ring. Those same humans flip the switch, turn on the light, and pretend their wrestling alter egos don't exist. For a psychopath such as myself I have to fake it every day of my life. Its tiresome pretending to be normal when you're really not. I hope Natalie is mature enough to understand, there is no difference between B-Lo, The SCW wrestler and B-Lo, the “human being.”

I took my long hot shower. I sent Natalie a text like I promised, requesting that she meet me later tonight in the alley beside the hotel I am staying in. Alley's creep most humans out, but for a monster like me, hanging in a dark alley in the dead of night is comparable to relaxing in a spa. Ok. Not exactly the same. I hope my point isn't lost on any of you.

I am standing behind an old decaying barrel I took the liberty of dumping enough old discarded newspaper to light a proper fire. Resting to the side of me is a small cage with a small orange kitten sleeping. Correction. The kitten is knocked out. I injected it with ketamine several hours ago. I didn't want the kitten to feel any pain for what I'm about to put it through. Right on cue, my best friend (or former best friend depending on how she reacts to seeing my true face) walks into view. I wave at her. She waves back.

Natalie casually walks over, her long now dyed black hair pulled back securely in a mock bun. She is seen wearing a skin tight long sleeve shirt with a slightly dull tye-dyed chest print. She is also seen wearing a pair of black jeans with holes in the knees...Still she seems confident in her ability to be in my presence.  

Natalie: Are ve alone, or is she some vhere around?

Lohan: Knowing her, Serenity is somewhere lurking in the shadows.

Natalie: Figures....It is best she remain as far from me as possible. Though how are you doing Brittany?

Lohan: If Serenity gets her way tonight, you will never see her again.

Natalie comes to a stop just a few feet from me, just now she notices the kitten in the cage.

Natalie: And vhat is her vay?

I shot a sudden glance at my sedated kitten. I lift up the cage, raising it up so I'm gazing at the sedated kitten through the steel structure.  

Lohan: Since the beginning of time, mankind has been obsessed with a power struggle between good and evil. Darkness and light. Sometimes, the light wins out. For others, the darkness drags them into the abyss. For humans like me, we can't experience what you perceive as the light. For I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, until the day I pass away.  

I slide the cage over the burning fire, elevating the cage just enough so the kitten isn't torched by the flames.

Lohan: For a monster like me, there is no light. I am a psychopath, Natalie. I am a woman biologically incapable of feeling human emotion. The way you feel all warm and tingly around Dakota. That feeling. Love you call it? I can't feel for no one. Not even my own flesh and blood. Lucky me, Dawnie accepts me for who I am. And so does Serenity. She's just like as damaged as me.

Instead of holding back, I allow a sadistic smirk form on my face.

Lohan: You wanted to know what she wants? She believes by me showing you my true face, you'll walk out on me like everybody else. If she's right about you, she'll stick around to pick up the pieces of my already damaged psyche. 

The ball is in your court now. Are you willing to be friends with a woman who would drop this kitten into the fiery abyss? Are you willing to be friends with a woman who doesn't value human life? Who would cross any boundary without the slightest twinge of guilt? Or will you prove to be like everyone else? Judgmental. Self righteous. You wanted the truth? Thats the truth.

Natalie looks questioningly towards at me before causally walking over to take the cage away from me. She steps back away from the fire to look at me more directly. Its time. The moment of truth.

Natalie: Brittany you can be as you vish to be. I don't vant you to be someting you are not. You don't need to pretend vith me. However ve may not alvays see eye to eye...And that is vhat makes us different but doesn't mean ve can't be friends still. Ve all have our own vays to be unique...Your vays are clearly more twisted, but doesn't mean I vill stop being your friend because I don't agree vith something.

“No. No. No!”

Right on cue, Serenity emerges from the shadows. She storms past Natalie, who shoots an expression of annoyance in her direction. Serenity takes her position beside me. 

Serenity: Stop it! Just, stop it! Geez! Can you stop putting up a good girl act when we both know, you are anything but. What happens when Brittany crosses a line that goes against your perverse moral code. What if, Brittany murdered your fiance? Would you stand by her as she is whisked away for twenty five to life?

Natalie set the cage down. She glares heatedly at Serenity.

Natalie: I am sorry tings don't go da vay you vish dem too. And you call yourself da friend...If you vere her friend at all you vould be happy that someone is villing to stand beside her and still call her friend regardless of her qurks...So vhy don't you back the fuck off before I knock the taste out of your mouth Serenity...

Serenity turns to me.

Serenity: You are right about her. For now.

She redirected her attention to Natalie. For the first time, ever, Serenity looks at Natalie with the same scornful intensity Natalie doesn't hide from her.

Serenity: This isn't over. Far from it. One day, you will reject Brittany, just like everybody else in her life. And when you do, I will be there just to tell you, I won. I always win. You will be no different.  

Natalie: You need to stop playing games vith people's lives little girl...You vill end up getting hurt.

Serenity rolls her eyes at Natalie and storms off. With Serenity gone I approach my new best friend. I rest my hand on her shoulder. I can tell she's still seething over yet another encounter with my... ugh.. my other friend.

Lohan: Don't let her get to you. 

Natalie sighs and shake her head before bending over to grasp a hold of the cage with the kitten in it. She stands up to face me once more.

Natalie: She is playing you and trying to piss me off. It is a bit hard to ignore her. But if she keeps it up I vill kick her ass. Maybe then she vill learn to leave vell enough alone. But listen...If you ever vant to talk Brit, you have my number.

Lohan: Thanks for standing by me. It means a lot. But I am curious. Why do you like me?

Natalie: Honestly...I like you because I see a bit of me in you. I know strange but I do..Not just dat, but before Kota and his family...Before Jayde and Gene....I vas a loner. I didn't have many friends and was an out cast. Sure I had an adoptive family but I alvays felt the oddity....I vish dat on no one...Not even you. But i f you vish not to be friends all you have to do is tell me...But I enjoy talking to you and vorking vith you.

I'm not sure what to do. Should I hug her? Should I kiss her again? What is proper friendship etiquette? Hugging is out of the question. And since kissing her led to Dakota separating from her, that was out the question too. What's the right thing to do? Ah yes. Why didn't I think of it before. I extend my hand.

Lohan: Being your friend is the closest I will ever get to feeling, normal. Warren is right about one thing, life as a professional wrestler can become lonely after awhile. I don't want to be alone anymore. I need a friend. I need you. Don't abandon me.  

Natalie reaches out with her free hand and shake mines.

Natalie: I von't abandon you....And Varren said that to me too...He is right...And vhen you make friends..Ones you can trust you keep and treasure them vhen you can. But I better get going..Kota is in the front parking lot vaiting and I better get this little one to a vet. I mean it though...

Natalie began but paused to give me a hug before turning to head out.

Natalie: If you need to talk give me a ring, I am your friend and alvays vill be.

I nod. 

It's official. I have a real friend, a normal human being willing to accept for me for who I am. Natalie proved Serenity wrong tonight. Since Serenity is like me, she will not quit in her quest to prove she is right about Natalie. My best friend is a tough girl, and a woman of her word, when she tells me she won't judge me. She won't past judgment. As far as where we go from here, only time will tell. Our friendship developing is a journey I am willing to take. Here's to the future, where ever the journey will take us.

++

–

Promo Time: Go Lohan-Fisher

--

Life is just chalk full of ironies isn't it? Since Rise to Greatness, longer than that when you account for the Infamous/Brotherhood rivalry, I have been embroiled in a competitive rivalry with Harmony's close friend and client, Thomas Valentine over the Underground Championship. So when I found out on Breakdown I am going to team with Ms. Fisher, it made me question whether my partnership with the woman was indeed, random. Doesn't matter anyway. In a weird way, I am looking forward to teaming with her. You heard me. I am looking forward to teaming with Harmony. Her record, while not the greatest in the world, doesn't matter to me. She is a woman who has a great chance to use this tournament to cement a name for herself. She has a chance to separate herself from the rest of The Brotherhood.

I have been where she is right now. Last year I was a proud member of The Infamous. And during that time I told myself I was content being their glorified enforcer. Then it dawned on me, I deserved a piece of the pie. I deserved the holy spotlight to shine brightly on me, and most importantly, I was sick and tired of living in their shadows.

When I look at Harmony I see the similarities. A talented women with a passion for the sport. Someone who has convinced herself she's perfectly ok supporting her best friends career. There is nothing wrong with that. All I am saying is, when you step between those ropes, and you compete against the best in the world, naturally, you think, wow, I can do this. I'm not advocating Harmony turn her back on her Brotherhood, all I'm asking Harmony to do is think about herself for once. Think about her title aspirations. Consider, when our team wins, she has a chance to decide her destiny. Will she use the free match for herself, or, will she give Thorn a free opportunity to become Underground Champion? 

Who are you fighting for?

I know who I am fighting for. I'm fighting for myself. Naturally. Since leaving The Infamous, I feel my career has only just begun. No more distractions stand between me and what I want. I no longer need to consume myself with other people's drama, or incurring the wrath of my associates enemies. And finally, FINALLY, I am no longer pigeonholed as an enforcer. It feels great being looked at as my own woman. I didn't know how liberating of a feeling this would be. 

Through this tournament you can experience that liberation. Winning ensures you are afforded the opportunity to force the world to view you differently. I know how talented you are. I know how determined you are. You're the girl who would not back down from Infamous. Thats the Harmony I am expecting when the bell rings come Breakdown. So are you ready? What am I thinking. You are ready. Now, lets kick some ass.

This is our team. Forget Katie Steward exist. Who is she? A former six time SCW Women's Champion? Queen of Queens? Goddess of Desire? Why should her accomplishments mean anything to me. She was a Woman's Champion in a division overrun by women who can't stand up to me. She isn't my Queen. And I don't care how many men, and women, desire her. They have no standards anyway. As far as I am concerned, Katie Bethany Steward is in the way. My only hope is she doesn't cost our team the match. While she is only in this for herself, in a weird way, I care about your success. I have a rematch clause for the Underground Championship. Why do I need a free match? I don't. I am an Underground Division lifer through and through. But you Harmony. You deserve the same opportunity I created for myself. In spite of Katie Bethany Steward, I'll do everything in my power to ensure we make it to the finals.  

That's what friends do, we help each other. Strange. Who would have seen the day Thorn's valet and SCW's resident monster would ever see eye to eye? Just proves anything can happen, except Katie Steward becoming Heavyweight Champion. If by some disaster she does, wouldn't that be a sign of an upcoming apocalypse? Lucky for me I don't believe in apocalypses, headless horsemen, or the second coming of Jesus Christ. But I do believe in Team Lohan-Fisher to ride in on our horses, showing everyone you can't count two of the toughest women in this company out. We need to be tough. We are handicapped by Katie's ego after all. That, in and of itself, is an obstacle to overcome...but if any two broads in SCW can do it, its us.